


These Hearts of Mine, They Won't Stop Beating

by YourAverageAspiringAuthor



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Almost no dialog, POV The Master (Doctor Who), Short One Shot, Spoilers for Episode: s12e01-02 Spyfall, Spoilers for Episode: s12e10 The Timeless Children, The Master Has Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:09:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24888151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourAverageAspiringAuthor/pseuds/YourAverageAspiringAuthor
Summary: The Master's having a good long think.Spoilers for Timeless Children, don't say I didn't warn you
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor & The Master (Dhawan)
Kudos: 15





	These Hearts of Mine, They Won't Stop Beating

How long had it been?   
  
Five days? Seven?   
  
How long had he been pacing for?  
  
Five hours? Three?   
  
The room was a mess. _He_ was a mess.   
  
His knuckles hurt. Was that from the wall or the fight?   
  
He’d used to chase fights. Why had he run away from that one?   
  
His phone was vibrating. He knew it was _her._   
  
She’d wanted to hear his voice earlier. Not that he was sure why, but he’d been busy. Busy thinking.   
  
He’d been busy hiding himself from _her_ recently. Not that he’d ever stopped doing that. Hiding his pain.   
  
Hiding the drums, for the longest time. He’d hidden how much they’d affected him, because what was the point in telling his friend when he’d not even understood them himself? He’d hidden himself, because if she ever found out what he’d done she’d hate him.   
  
She already hated him, as much as he wanted to avoid thinking about that. The evidence was in every text about ‘an old friend,’ in every call about how ‘he’s done it again,’ and every question he’d regretted asking. She’d lost hope in him a long time ago, and what he’d done would only make it worse. He only hoped she wouldn’t lose hope in herself when he told her what he’d discovered.  
  
Regeneration had always been such an odd thing. It’d left his head spinning every time, left him needing to repeat the same process every single time. When he’d regenerated this time, stubble on his chin and an ache in his hearts, he’d discovered how _angry_ of a person he was. When he’d stepped out of the Matrix, he’d seen red.   
  
He’d burned them. He’d torn them apart, just as they’d torn his friend apart. He’d made them _suffer,_ because how could he not? They’d taken, and taken, and taken, and they’d given her _nothing._  
  
She had no idea who she was. She had no idea that, before she’d been Theta, she’d been a lab rat. She had no idea how old she was, or how integral to Gallifrey’s history she’d been. Before there was Rassilon, or Omega, or the Other, there’d been _her,_ and she’d had no clue.   
  
They’d lied to her, just as he had. They’d torn her _apart_ , and used her to make _him._ Not directly, but he was still a result of _her._ He was an abomination, and so were they. He’d made them suffer.   
  
He’d tell her, eventually. He’d tell her everything, and then he’d have to hope she’d kill him, because leaving him alive would be a mercy too cruel for him to bear. Until then, he’d have to keep lying to her, just as they had. He was no better than them.   
  
His phone was still vibrating. Maybe he ought to pick it up. He took a breath.   
  
Leaning against the console, he picked up his phone and answered the call. Hopefully his voice wasn’t as shaky as it had been on Gallifrey.  
  
“Hello, love.”  



End file.
